All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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