wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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