Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
