I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
