I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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