yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
