i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
