I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
did you just send me my own nude
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
