I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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