I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We are two peas in an std pod
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
