I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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