Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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