so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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