You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
