I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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