google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
