My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
ttyl tear gas
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
