How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
