dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
