haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize