Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
