Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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