Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
