five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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