That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha