That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?