And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
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They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
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This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.