What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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