perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
