I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
