Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
