Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
