If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
