i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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