I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
