Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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