I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
