You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
