Where is the hickey?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
