U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
