What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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