everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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