oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
