I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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