you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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