you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
