I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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