meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
