she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
