Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
