God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
