well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
