wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
