thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sarcasm needs its own font
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
