The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my shit smells like andre
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
