Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
