I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
the liver wants what the liver wants
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
