this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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