grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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