Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
