So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
