I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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